50 Things
by skywalkor
Summary: "I want you to read it all. Whatever you do, don't stop, I need you to read this. You'll probably don't know how to answer but it doesn't matter. I don't need an answer." Another KakaYama fiction, enjoy! R&R?
1. Yamato's things

_All the characters belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.  
Note: This is for my Tumblr-followers. You guys are so sweet. _

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There's one chance in a hundred that you'll understand every word of what you're going to read now.  
You know that I'm too goddamn shy to tell you this face to face, but that doesn't matter.

No words can describe exactly what's going on in my head, but I hope that you'll understand a little.

Oh, and I want you to read it all. Whatever you do, don't stop. I need you to read this. You'll probably don't know how to answer but it doesn't matter. I don't need an answer.

Here you go, senpai. This is for you.

The first time I saw you, you were wearing the standard ANBU clothing. Your hair was messy and your sharingan was exposed, still you were the only human being in the room that I could see, feel or hear.

How you interduced yourself. It was not "Hi, I'm Kakashi, your new captain", it was "Yo, Tenzou right? What's that book you're reading?", kind of like the fact that we were training to kill a hundreds of men for the sake of our village didn't matter.

Your bad jokes. Really, they were all so bad that they made every situation comical. They lighted up the atmosphere on the ANBU camp, after a mission, on a training... Everywhere. And everyone hated them, almost as much as they loved them.

You were the captain, but you still became my best friend. I know that you felt the same.

I used to bet with our comrades on who's turn it was so share tent with you on our missions. I think we all secretly wanted to be the chosen one.

There were two things that kept me up all night, not being able to sleep. The first thing was the dizzy memory of Orochimaru's eyes. The second thing was your face behind the mask. The picture of you kept almost every single nightmare away.  
It was probably that moment when I realized that I had fallen for you.

How you said "Tenzou". I always felt a shiver down my spine when you said it.

When you asked how I felt. Just generally.

The night you told me about Obito, how you couldn't protect Rin and how Minato – the only one that was left from your team died. Even if it was just for one second, I thought that I could see a tear fall down along your cheek. It was gone before I even could blink.  
You told me that you needed to be stronger, and now when you had found yourself again after their deaths, you had to make sure that nothing like that would happen again to someone you cared about.

Your smile. It was so handsome.

Your laugh.

Your stubbornness.

Your goodbye was awful. I honestly don't remember much from that week. My brain has repressed every single memory of the pain and loneliness from those seven days. It got better after a while, but I couldn't stop to think about your face. You left me there, with nothing but loneliness in my head and hart. It sounds so dramatic, but I'm afraid that it's the truth.

Really, you were always on my mind. Every day, every week, every month.  
You can call me creepy if you want to, but that's the truth.

I was planning to stay in the ANBU forever. Then Tsunade-sama called me in for a mission outside the ANBU that I couldn't say no to. Both literally and personally.  
I needed you again. To feel you, hear you, be close to you.

I got filled with so much memories when I saw you again, on that hospital bed. It was so comical. I could feel deep down in my bones how much you hated to be there.

When you were asleep at the hospital, I visited you, watched you while you were breathing calmly with closed eyes.

When you said that you wanted me to help you with Naruto's training. I had already started to like the kids, including Sai, so I couldn't say no. Plus the fact that you asked for me in person. And that I could see you every day. My heart skipped a beat.

It won that bet with our former ANBU comrades. I was the one that slept next to you for weeks.

How we became a team. Naruto, Sakura and you. Me and Sai were a part of your team in no time, it was like we had fought together for years, and I really liked you all. Especially you.

Eating at Ichiraku with you.

Getting to know the other jounin and chunin in the village. You always introduced me as _Te... Yamato. co-captain of team Kakashi. Former teammate. Good friend. Best friend. Good man_, and so on. It was nothing, but I was still so damn proud.

You were always so close, for some reason. I can't say that I didn't like it. In fact, I loved it. Your arm slightly touching mine, your leg, your foot... Man, you know how to tease.

Did you know? For a while, I actually thought that you did. Sakura saw straight through me and explained that you had no idea. She helped me with this. She helped me with a lot of stuff.

Well, I guess that this is the last thing. These 25 things is my way of explaining something that people usually just say with three words. I know that you will push me away now, and I understand that, but I just needed to tell you. I love you, senpai. Thanks for everything.


	2. Kakashi's things

You're right, Tenz. I have no idea how to answer to that. I guess that I'm just copying you, but after all I'm the copy ninja so it doesn't matter. Here's my things.

You were always there. Always.

I wanted you to come with me, but I knew that your home was the ANBU and I couldn't stay there.

I was the dog, you were the cat.

It took a while to make the decision, and when I finally made it I realized that it would be too hard saying goodbye properly. So I left without a word. I left everything behind me, including you, and ever since that day I'm cursing myself because of that. You were my best friend, and maybe even more than that. So why didn't I say goodbye in a better way? I was too lazy I guess.

When you appeared on Tsunade's side there at the hospital. I can't describe it.

My team liked you from the beginning. Or at least, they respected you. After a while they started to like you even more. Just as I did when I first met you.

Why don't you take off that face protector? I want to see your whole face, every inch of it.

Man, you're annoying when you're forcing me to focus on something that doesn't have to do with Icha Icha Paradise. Somehow, I still like it.

Now it's your turn to call me creepy – I watched you when you walked home, for a few days. I couldn't keep my eyes off you.

I know that you're making small wood sculptures of us. Yes, the tiny ones, they're 8 centimeters perhaps. You have three of me. Three of Naruto. Two of Sakura and one of Sai. Then you have pretty much the whole village... Tsunade, Shizune, Kotetsu, Izumo, Kiba, Hinata, Shikamaru, Choji... Even old man Ichiraku.  
I don't want to be egocentric but I like the ones of me the most. The one when I'm sitting under a tree reading Icha Icha, the one when I'm using my sharingan and the one when I'm just me, standing there with closed eyes and a smile.  
I like medic-Sakura, strong-Sakura, Kyubi-Naruto and reading-Sai too. They're all masterpieces. You're a true genius, Tenzou.

Your eyes.

Your laugh.

When you're embarrassed. You really had a hard time when I was teasing you, right? I couldn't resist. I just wanted to see your shy smile and colored cheeks when you looked down in the ground, probably pissed off.

I never told anyone.

I won't ignore you after this, Tenz.

Laying under a tree with a friend, watching the clouds and talk about nothing and everything is the perfect way of spending a day, isn't it? Let's do that again. It was great.

You're always eating cup-ramen for breakfast.

You train half an hour a day.

You're always happy when you see me. I can't understand why, but it doesn't matter. When you're happy, I'm happy.

We work well together on missions. Our teamwork is the best that I've ever shared with anyone. I usually have problems cooperation with people but we've never had any problems with that.

Do you know how hard it is, looking at you without having any idea what you're thinking of? Do you know how many times I've been thinking that you're in love with Shizune or that cute female medic-ninja that's always flirting with you? Or why not Genma, Iruka or Kotetsu?

I don't know when my feelings turned from friend to lover when I thought about you, but I know that it's been a while.

I dreamed about you once. I couldn't save you, and you died. That was probably the night when I promised myself to never tell you about my feelings.

We're shinobi. We're standing between life and death every day. I've lost so many friends, I've seen so many people die and we both have a lot of blood on our hands. When you're affected like that, life becomes even more colorful Bonds become even stronger. You've seen this too and as a former member of my ANBU team, I know that you're feeling exactly the same as I do about this. We're linked to each other, whether you like it or not. You're making my world more colorful, Tenzou.

One day when I was out walking, thinking about everything and nothing, I saw you. You were sitting under a tree while the sun shone down on your face with it's last beams. The sky was purple, red, orange and yellow. The wind had stopped blowing. The leaf in the tree weren't moving.  
I couldn't take my eyes off you.  
When the sun was down, I went home before you noticed me. In weeks I fell asleep with the picture of you in my head.  
I love you too.

There's 50 things now. 50 things why we should be together.

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_Yes, finally done! Started to write this one two months ago. I didn't like it so I stopped. Found it again recently and gave it another try. So, what did you think? Always happy for a review. KakaYama on, people!_


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